I figured something out: 3 AM is when I have the most energy and apparently, the most senseless thoughts. I would say that… My energy starts to rise around 11 pm, which is one of the things that makes me the most anxious. I think one thing that makes me anxious is that I can’t get anything done, because I know I am supposed to be asleep.
Like sometimes when I was in school, I’d sit there and think about all the things I needed to do. This sort of thing would happen for weeks and I never really got anything done. This was bad because it always resulted in procrastination, anger, and more anxiety.
Another example happened the other day when I was standing in line for food with my sister. It was around 11, and the conversation between me and her got weirder and weirder. We thought it was funny. Everyone else in the line looked annoyed. Just imagine two twin girls goofing off in line, making fun of the word brisket, while emphasizing the R and screaming it in high pitch. The first time we did it, the man on the bus gave us a funny look and just moved away.
Sometimes I get so worried that I walk out of class early or snap at people. I try to limit my anger.
I think the world as a whole makes me anxious. I found that it maybe because school has trained me to become a journalist. This means you have to keep up with everything and you have to know everything about news. Reading the news every day is depressing. Striving to get information to people to make a change and having to sit in class while the world burns, brings on both anxiety and frustration.
Some days I would sit in class and think: I could be changing the world right now.