6 Skills Kindergartners Could Put on Their Resumes


At the age of five , you may not think you have any skills, but  by golly, you do. What would you put on a resume for a kindergartner? Here are 6 things:

1. Abecedarian.  If you tell people that your kid is an abecedarian, they will more than likely be interested in what your kid does. Kindergarten is notorious for learning the alphabet. This is like one of the first things you learn in addition to mathematics. Why not  beef up your kids credentials by stating that your kid is the top abecedarian in the class.

2. Kindergartners are investigative.  (In other words, curious.) When I see this I picture a kid in their parent’s oversize trench coat, with a detective’s hat in blue’s brothers’ shades. Yes! five year olds are investigative. This means they’re learning new things every minute. They’re analyzing things every minute. They basically have their own knowledge of the world, This  makes since to them by the way.  If their mom is dressed as Santa Claus, she’s Santa Claus.  Investigative detective is definitely one thing a kindergartner might put on their resume.

3.  Comedians. If you’ve never talked to a kindergartner, the things they say are hilarious. This is the point where they develop a sense of humor or are developing emotions.  Here are a few examples:

  • If  a kid calls you a “nut-head” because they think it offends you, when it is probably the best insult you’ve gotten all day?  very rude, but you couldn’t help but laugh.
  • If a kid yells from the back yard to an innocent  old man who lives next door, that he “can’t be a cheerleader”, they’ve got their act made.
  • Kids are also super funny, when they’re hyped on sugar.

4. Professional Doodler. If there’s one thing I remember as a kid, I was a horrible drawer.  However, I doodled everyday. My family loved my cards. I mean they fell head over hills for a scribble that looked like an abstract rendering of a piece of lint that got clogged in the dryer. Yep, kindergartners are totally master doodlers. By the reaction I got, I’d say they were qualified.

5. Public Speaking . Oh My Gosh. When kids turn five , they talk forever about nothing. I mean they could see a bug and go into detail about that bug like it was the end of the earth. Like the bug was a part of their soul. It’d be a pretty  cool  reality show. Searching for bugs with Daryn: Kindy Edition. They are totally good at public speaking.

6. Fierce Cheetahs. Five year olds are fast. Like cheetahs, five year olds  have a lot of energy. Like cheetahs, five  year olds can  run , jump, and climb trees. They’re basically  like all over the place. Parents will break their necks to look when you describe your child as a fierce cheetah. Go Fierce Cheetah Go!

– Ambitious J.

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